Had supper with my 2 other beauty. :O did not sleep well these few days. Suffering from insomia. Alot of things keep running in my mind. i just don't like th feeling. Alright, back t th topic. Had a fruitful supper with them. Cheese prata, tom yam soup, kangkong, calamari, etc. Nice nice! :O Work is tiring me for this holiday. :x
3:04 AM
Emotionless, Numb, Hurt, Sad, Strength-less. Everythings ended. Oh, i should say. Things had not started for me and him, but it just ended it this way. Things that are not meant to be mine, it won't. I'm just like a passerby in his life. Phobia and every single things, i'm not the one whom can lead him out of this darkness. Probably one day, someone out there, might be able to. I can never believe in love anymore. What i did to him, does not worthwhile at all. Ya. he touched by some things which i did. but so?! does he appreciate it? he don't really love me. Probably is just a crush. Someone whom he admire. I'm not pretty for him. there isn't any talent in me. I don't have the sense of dressing. Everything in me, totally sucks! There's no one cherish me. Only me. Fall out of love at times. Fairy tales don't exist. I'm lost. Deep in my heart. i really love you. but there's nothing for me to do now. Nothing can help. Clique had been trying hard to pull us together. I appreciate it. But things just won't work between me and him. There's no sparks. Even if there is, it won't light up. We're totally from two different worlds.
2:35 AM
Headed out with cliques today. Not a bad one, i guess. Meetup with gerald and delvin at shaw house. I was like kinda lost. don't know where the hell is scotts. /: Shopped around. did not buy anything. :D Yays. i made it. like finally. hah! Cheehow and Chuck came t find us at hereen. Had dinner at xinwang again! Had black pepper beef baked rice. Yummy. Walked down t monster cue. Pool again! I won everyone except delvin. Stupid him. White ball went in. Trained back at 1140pm. & delvin and me will be getting a head porter soon. Same as gerald. And i managed to find th same design. Have t ship in from usa.
Alright, mood isn't great now. I'm feeling rather down. Yays, you guys might think, like again?! Yays, is like again. I couldn't control my emotional towards him. fml. he like doesn't give a damn to me today. Is like one day hot, the next day cold. wtf?!?!?! Am i really someone important in your life? Am i really the one whom you love? i doubt so. You only need someone at times. Probably i'm the one in your mind this way. but, i'll get hurt. I'm so into you. All i could do now, is to be silent. Waiting here quietly. Loving you. Protect you, Care for you. Seeing you happy. that's all. I felt so helpless. Like an idiot. Alright, i admit it. :( i really don't want my life to be this kind. I want it to be interesting. Everyday, waking up. There's an aim. But i felt that life is so meaningless. Wake up in the morning thinking, will you be calling me? will you be missing me? will you be texting me? when will you be meeting me? After this meetup, when can i get to see you again? i kept questioning myself. But i realised that i couldn't answer this. Why why why? /: How i wish i did not fall in love with you. I really need someone t fall onto. But who can i run to? But, when i saw his name appear on my caller id. I'm happy and excited. (: i just don't know why. How on earth am i suppose to face you?
Great, i fall out of this.! I'm isn't that happy as what you see,.
1:15 AM
Wednesday, June 23, 2010Y
Yeah yeahs! :O I reached before he end work. Just alighted th train at habour front and he called me. Was chatting with him randomly. Crapped while on my way there. Asked him like where is him and etc. Finally found him. Eating snake. haha. (: And he was superb shocked t see me over. Yeahs! I did it. Went t shop around before he end work. Bought a ZARA sleep suit. Kinda nice. Especially the short. You girls, should get one. Nice nice. Meetup darling at the smoking corner near starbucks, and we trained back t sengkang. Had supper at his house. his mom cooked spaghetti. Mushroom and hotdog with it. Two thumbs up. And darling was like screaming mushroommmm, terryyyy! haha! I was like laughing laa. Cam-whore after that with both of our laogong and laopo., till his lappy went out off battery. /: He was like " Si lian pai somemore lor, still my laopo die.!" I was like duh! And he kept duh-ing all the way. Superb insane laa. ;D And he helped me to stick my name on laogong too. Handsome dude now. haha. Cause got my name on it. Whoot. Gotten new songs and games for my beloved itouch too. :D Yays Yays! Alright, will be going out with clique later on for sheesha. like finally. After one and a half week had passed for our holiday. And is ending real soon, :x Study study study. totally sucks to the max luhhh.
3:55 AM
Shantella Jayda is making her way down now to vivo city. Giving darling a surprise by fetching him from work, without him knowing it. Shhh, Hopefully i'm able t reach on time. (:
Flared at darling last night. I'm sorry my dear :( . I couldn't stand the way you're treating me. Hot and cold. The feeling is totally sucks. Was texting with you th entire night. Erm, i mean till 3am. He told me that i'm his girlf in his parents eyes alr. Yays, i know. Cause you lied to them previously. I replied him, "Yes dear, i know that. You tell them before, and we're still contacting each other. And they believed we're together.!" (Something like that). He said, "So be my girl then!" I told him, "Still, you have phobia in your mindset. I don't want things to turn out bad between you and me."
"Darling, i want you t know that i seriously love you to the max. And i really want to be with you. But if you're still having the relationship phobia of yours. Do you think that is fair for me? I really hope i'm the girl who can lead you out from this darkness. Able to stand up again from where you fell. Find back the smiles which you had lost. I want to see you happy. Will you eventually be mine one fine day? I really hope so. Everytime i'm angry or flare up. You will try your best to coax me. Thanks, i really appreciated it. (: And still asking me, remember we did something stupid. "Yes dear, No dear!" Definitely i remembered it. And the first time you had for me, was stitch puzzle. I felt touched. Tears of mine almost roll down. I believe for you and me, the sun will shine one day."
8:39 PM
Mood totally wasn't great last night. Texted darling early in th morning when i'm on my way work, break time, and that time when i'm not feeling well. he did not replied me till almost 9pm. He just replied, " i'm awake!" that's all. I was like thinkinhg, is impossible, as he slept at 3am. Imagination started t run wild. Thinking that he will be coming down t fetch me as a surprise. Cause last night i did ask him t come down. Was looking forward t 930pm. Ended up, he texted me, asked me t go home rest. fml! th feelings totally suck! Anyways, dad's colleague son will be at my house tonight. Will be drinking with them. drank 2 bottles only. And they asked me t drink th third bots. Argued with darling on th phone call when i called him. really very pissed off and i felt i care for him, and i'm getting these kinda things from him. FML!
3:57 PM
Had work today. Like finally after one month. damn broke. :x After work, trained t sengkang with Eileen. Meet-up darling at his house there. took th wrong direction of th lrt. :/ ended up go one big round. made me like a lost girl. and he apologized. :O Darling passed me a frame. thought he really gotten me a LV boutique paper and frame it up, which i anyhow bomb him previously. but is not, is a glow-in th dark stitch puzzle, is th star that glow. Urber nice. When i received it, my entire was hot and red. He was happy too. Had mac spicy for supper at rivervale mall. Than went up t his house. His mummy asked me t drink tonic soup. Rest awhile, chatted with darling and had my soup. Was urber bitter, /: But he stuff 11.25 sweet into my mouth. haha! Cabbed home at around 130am. i love him lots.
3:36 PM
Went cheehow's chalet. (: Meetup with gerald at sengkang. bused down t downtown. Walked around, while waiting for terry and singh. Everyone is late. And i waited for them. Yucks! Wanted t play pool and bowling. but, all were full. Wasn't our day. Whooot! Meet cheehow at ehub ntuc. get whatever stuff he need. mixer etc. he gotten me shoom shoom. :D Haha! happy happy. Played guessing game. i lost. drank 4mouthful of nic. Yucks! Superb gross la. Chivas much better. Mood wasn't that good. terry and cheehow know why. :x Was abit tipsy alr. still, i continue t drink. Ended up, th kick come real fast. I couldn't control. Went t puke. & i realised that i did not eat at all. Only 3hotdogs when i reached there. -.- damn it. this time i real drunk. for th first time, and th feeling is sucks. Everyone were worried about me. i'm sorry guys. gerald kept grabbing me, he's afraid i might fall. and i almost did. Mom called at 12am. Couldn't really answer her phone. & i guess she know i'm drunk from th way i replied her. gerald answered her phone call then. Don't really know what he told my mom. & she agreed not wanting me t go home tonight. I was like stunt. Leave th chalet around 1am i guess, with gerald, terry, singh and one of cheehow's friend. Cabbed t gerald's house. Reached his house, his dad poured me a glass of orange juice. (: " Thanks uncle! " :O Was really feeling damn shag.
" thanks for everything. i'm th cause of your tiredness, sorry. Really appreciated it. Staying up, just t take care of me. Worried for me. & you poured a bottle of water, putting it beside th bed without me asking you for it time round. (: You're getting t understand me more each day. :O Making th bed for me and cover with blanket too. hugging your girlgirl goh henchou. ( kapuang ) haha! i can't imagine i had been sleeping over at your house for 2nights. silly brain, kept snatching blanket with me. :x "
10:25 PM
Sticky's three new caps. * Faint. 
Had a quick shower from i reached home. Headed out t raffles place. Fetched sticky from work. (: He's happy. haha! kept smiling non stop and he went crazy. Wanted t catch a movie with me. But all th shows i watched alr. :x Fated. Had pool instead. And i won him at least 1round without th black ball went in. :D Yays yays! Actually wanted t play loser punch. Ended up, he don't want. haha! Had niwa sushi for dinner cum supper. that stupid fellow is cute alright.
" i know what i wanna eat alr"
" i know what you wanna eat too.!"
"What?!"
"UNAGI bento"
" haha! How you know?!"
"You and your unagi again! haha"
He superb understand what i'm thinking. Can't escape from him. Trained t sengkang. Meet chuck. (: Went up t his house first. As he wanna get change. time flies. Around 11pm. that chucky still did not call me. /: Fall asleep at his house. did not realise that time. Wanted t have a short nap. Ended up, we woke up at 510am. -.- Cabbed home. haha!
* thanks for sticky making a happy day for me. :D
4:11 PM
